just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
