rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
