Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Watching her eat just hurts me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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