I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
