Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
