we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
