she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize