Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
