Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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