so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
