but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
