I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
