6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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