pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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