Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
