This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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