All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
