my sisters under your porch take her home
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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