i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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