Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All the doctor said was why
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize