My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I need help removing her.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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