What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
