She is in my trunk
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
