Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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