we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
