just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
