i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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