She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
