I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
