elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
