i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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