Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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