Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
