all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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