There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
