Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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