Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
