I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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