We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
