Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
