I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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