WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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