Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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