Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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