I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
