I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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