Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize