Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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