the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want to have your abortion
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
