i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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