Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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