Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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