I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
