youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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