So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
