U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
