All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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