dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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