just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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